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  • Writer's pictureDrew-Alexandra O'Keeffe

Pure Ecstasy: Natural highs in a synthetic world

Updated: Apr 12, 2020


Can the dangers of drink and drug culture be controlled through natural and mindful practices?


Looking for light

He breathes in deep, eyes closed, bare feet grounded on a mildly cold floor. As the air starts to leave his lungs and through the small gap in between his lips, an ecstasy rises up through his body, eyes rolling back into his head, letting it fall. Purple and blue lights fly past him, blurring his vision as his pupils dilate and sway side to side, trying to keep up with the bright movements. Percussion fills his ears and runs through his senses. He opens his arms wide, bouncing to the rhythm of the drums and allows the energy he has been waiting for to flow through him, breaking past the subconscious suppression of reality. He is having one of the most intense highs of his life, although he is completely and entirely sober.


Dillon Maloney, 23-year-old from London, has been practicing ecstatic dance for about four months now. The activity itself is an improvised dance class with the encouragement of letting the body loose to become free-flowing. As a result, this mindful practice can produce a natural happiness boost, especially with the use of ceremonial cacao, a raw type of cocoa originating from the Mayans. Although this activity is strictly drug free, the practice claims to mimic the sensations you may experience when under the influence of illegal substances, such as ecstasy.


The use of recreational drugs is not uncommon among today’s society. According to the Home Office’s national drug misuse statistical bulletin, released in September 2019, “around 1 in 5 (20.3%) adults… had taken a drug in the last year.” Equating to 1.3 million people, 1 in 25 of those aged 16-59 used class A drugs. Since the 1996 survey, there has been a “general upward trend in class A drug use.”


As a result, more and more people are becoming detached from societal norms, relying on synthetic highs and blurred experiences. When used in excessive amounts, it poses a risk of the development of mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety and even more severe conditions such as schizophrenia and mania.


The report found that “people with self-reported lower levels of happiness were more likely to have taken any drug in the last year than those with self-reported higher levels of happiness.” Correlations between drug use and anxiety was also found, with those using it more often to suppress their anxieties and found that “drug use decreased as life satisfaction increased.”

“In my first year of University I suffered a lot with sleep paralyses.”

Dillon takes a fork full of his egg salad he had bought prior to meeting me. We are sitting in an almost empty Starbucks in Harrow, North London. It’s raining out and the early journey leaves me begging for a drop of caffeine. As I wait at the counter for my overpriced 9am coffee, I turn and look over to Dillon who, to my surprise, has his hands hovering just above his salad, eyes closed. This lasts around a minute. He looks content in his seaweed green over-sized Champion jumper and chin length curly dark hair, pushed out of his face with a black zigzag headband. He breaths out softly, opens his eyes, smiles and tucks in once again.

As I sit back down opposite him, he places his hand on a small brown pocketbook.

“What’s that, are you going to ask me some questions too?”, I joke easing into conversation.

“It’s my gratitude journal, I write down everything that is positive and that I am grateful for, it keeps me centered.”


It’s a nice concept and I become curious as to what he is grateful for today, assumingly the egg salad has made an appearance on the page.

Before taking another mouthful of his colourful meal, he carries on telling me about his past experiences.


“When you drink and take drugs, it creates a sort of openness of the body and in return creates these holes in your energy, allowing other energies to get in. The sleep paralysis could have been a mixture of things, lack of sleep, stress and obviously the frequent use of drink and drugs.”


He laughs as if he is looking back and remembering how he would act in his first year of university.


“During my sleep paralyses, I started to see beings and things that I knew were not meant to be pleasant. They would caress and touch me.”


Looking down at his arm he strokes it softly as he says this, looking disgusted at the thought.


“I felt like they would stay at the back of me, you know there is a lot of fear within what you can’t see. At first it would happen, and then I would go back to sleep, and everything would be fine. But then I started to drift in and out of the paralysis multiple times in one night. It got to the point where there was so much repetitiveness that I would experience it maybe 5, 6 times. I didn’t know what was a dream and what was reality.”


There is a pause. His expression changes quickly from a saddened sympathy for his past self to a content smile, fork in hand ready for the next mouthful.


“It definitely led to an awakening.”

He nods and lets out a small chuckle smiling wider to himself.



Natural nurturing

With the pace of life getting faster each year, many people are turning to drink and drug use to ease the stresses that come with it.


In a recent survey created for this project with participants ages 15-70, 100% of the participants said they have drunk alcohol, 58% have experimented with recreational drugs and 47% use either or both to unwind and relax.


“Weed really helped me when I was going through a low point and while I was looking into my awakening.”


Dillon smiles while looking slightly to the ceiling as if he was thanking an angel above. Considering he tells me he can “smell angels”, I wouldn’t doubt for a second that it could really be there.


“It helped me to escape and gave me the ability to be carefree. I was really, really hard on myself and I had a lot of pressure from my family to do well at university.”


He looked saddened again and told me how he went to Bournemouth University to study a bachelor’s in business, something he didn’t enjoy. He felt as if he had a huge weight on his chest to set an example for his younger family members and to know exactly what he was doing with his life. He explains, like many young people, that he had no idea what he wanted to do.


“It allowed my body to be more in control and I just let it do what it wanted to do. I had a sense of freedom and I got attached to it.”

Marijuana is the most used illegal drug in the UK. According to the BBC, 30% of people, around 10 million, from England and Wales have tried the drug, with around 30,000 A&E admissions due to mental and behavioural disorders linking to the drug in 2018 alone.


More tolerated than other illegal substances, such as ecstasy and cocaine which are class A drugs, this class B is legal in countries including Canada, Uruguay and many North American states like California. In the Netherlands the drug is famously tolerated to such a level that central Amsterdam have certain coffee shops that sell marijuana to customers, taking tourism to a new high.


Considering the tolerance from around the world, could it really be that harmful?


Although there are no known deaths caused specifically from using cannabis alone, excess use can take its toll on the user’s mental state as it is known to be a ‘gateway drug.’ This means that the effects can massively encourage users to delve deeper into other illegal habits.


For some, such as Dillon, the use of marijuana can have positive effects if taken with control and awareness.


Charlotte Smith, 20 from Luton has been using marijuana since she was 17.


“At the beginning it was because of my peers, not peer pressure, no one is forcing it down your throat, but it was more of a casual thing. I then realised that it engaged the creative side of my brain and I started smoking it before class. I would then use it to come up with the best ideas ever and it really helped me with my A-levels and my creative work.”


Charlotte is now an up-and-coming graphic designer and still uses the drug to stimulate her ideas now and then.


“I just like to chill out and think differently.”

She says she knows she isn’t addicted to it and doesn’t like to get too high, just until she can feel something.


Daniel Baker, 23, from London tells me about a less positive experience with cannabis, and the effect it has had on his friends.


“I have literally seen this drug destroy people. Some people just can’t handle it and use it for the wrong reasons. Personally, I do like it, but I am always wary when I use it and why I am using it. I have lost touch with people who have decided to make it their priority, they just aren’t the same. It’s upsetting to see.”


Daniel says he uses the drug now and then to de-stress and that “it’s sometimes something I would choose over having a few beers, it’s all about knowing how much you need and not getting carried away.”


Thankfully, Dillon, who’s now resting his arms on the table, explains to me how his use of cannabis was, and still is, used more for improving his social anxieties and difficulties accepting himself.


“I have used synthetic drugs in the past, but I would now only use drugs that come from the earth, like weed and mushrooms.”


His hands are expressive now. He places a fist to his chest and moves it around showing me where he feels he is affected spiritually.


“But, when I use these types of drugs, I use them in a sort of ceremonial sense, to help with my practices and to dive deeper into myself.”

Mushrooms, or ‘Shrooms’ as they are commonly known, are natural psychedelics containing the property psilocybin. They are frequently used in spiritual practices causing hallucinations and unusual and altered perceptions in the brain as it influences serotonin levels according to VeryWellMind.com, a US health publication. However, they are also known to increase anxiety, and can occasionally cause ‘bad trips’, which can then result in frightening flashbacks once the drug is out of the system.


“Something I am doing recently is trying to connect with my ancestors to get a better picture of my purpose. I used mushrooms, I think last Sunday, to get a better focus and to really open-up. It’s like I am cleaning the pipes between generations when I do this and using this sort of drug helps speed up that process.”



Ceremonial insight

Dillon may use these natural illegal substances often, but what he uses most frequently to get a high, isn’t a drug. When he attends ecstatic dance events, such as ones organised by URUBU, a popular ecstatic dance organisation in London where we met, ceremonial cacao is used to enhance the experience.


What is cacao? (Pronounced: CAC-OW)

Raw cacao comes from the same plant as the cocoa bean, but is used primarily for its health benefits.


Julie Sharp, Academy chocolate chef for Cacao Barry, works with the production and making of cacao products. She sounds excited to speak to me through the phone and dives straight into the origins of cacao without hesitation.


“Chocolate has a very rich history and cacao originates with the Mayans years and years ago. They would make drinks for their gods with the cacao by grinding it up. When the Spaniards discovered them, they were dressed in armour and looked lavish so ultimately the Mayans thought this was their god re-incarnated in human flesh. That’s how it came to Europe and eventually we got chocolate.”


She laughs through the phone as the signal crackles, seemingly excited by chocolate.

Cacao is like the coffee bean as they both give stimulating effects. Cacao is more known for its natural qualities, hence why it is used in spiritual practices.

“It’s very high in antioxidants and anti-inflammatories so is a good health benefit. People were given high dosages of cacao drinks and saw it hardened artery walls meaning blood flow was better, it ultimately opens your heart.”


According to TheScienceofEating.com, a health advice website, cacao can prevent cancer, diabetes and has cardiovascular benefits such as mentioned before. In a recent article called, ‘The benefits of cacao’, Dr. Silvina Lotito, Ph.D. says cacao can, “prevent plaque formation, improving circulation and lowering your risk of heart disease.”


During the ecstatic dance event I attended, the term ‘opening of the heart’ was repeated throughout the night. There is a clear correlation with the beliefs of the use of cacao to help a sort of openness occur.


But could this be more scientific than spiritual?


“I didn’t realise people used it for ceremonial purposes.”


Julie didn’t sound convinced once I’d told her about my experience of the ecstatic dance I’d endured a few days before. There is a pause and for a second it crossed my mind that the line might have cut. A voice suddenly sounds after a deep, sharp breath is drawn.


“People drink it for more of a health kick than a ritual I thought. It gives you energy, good health and sometimes can be high in iron, but nothing that would affect you in that sense.”


It seems that the use of cacao could produce a sort of placebo effect onto its users, but what Dillon had to say made it questionable that it’s more about the way you use it.


Dillon is leaning over the table, cupping his hands to create a vision of how he holds cacao at the events.


“Using cacao does help because we set intentions for what we want to let go of and what we want to draw to us.”


In ecstatic dance events where cacao is used, the ceremonial part of the night consists of all participants standing in a circle while cacao is handed around in small china cups. The leader of the event will speak about the opening of the heart and setting intentions for yourself. Advice to let go of any anxieties and embrace happiness, success and health is projected. Before the first sip, everyone in the circle thinks about what they want to let go of, raises their cups and shouts it out all at once. With a sip of the lukewarm cacao, like thick hot chocolate missing the sugar, the emotions are released. This happens once more, this time setting intentions for what is most adorned in life.


“What I am gaining and what I am releasing is a collective energy. During these ceremonies I am more likely to express myself. I focus on where I am in the moment and then let it all go.”


Dillon looks excited now, taking in a deep breath and releasing it with a chuckle.


“It electrifies me.”

He glows with appreciation of reminiscing his experiences.


“I like to think plants, and the cacao especially, are their own spirits. I always ask before I take a sip, ‘can I drink you?’.”


“But, how do you know it is okay?” I ask, taken back a bit by what he is telling me.


“I just get a vibe, it’s always positive, I haven’t gotten a negative one so far, but I just like to make sure.”


Dancing for answers

Having too experienced this ceremony, I wondered how long it would take someone, like myself, to become fully emerged in the activity to feel such connection and energy. What Dillon was describing was slightly different to what I had felt.


I think back to taking part in the event to which I had dragged along one of my semi-spiritual friends. Walking into the room, it is like the jungle scene from ‘Mean Girls’. People ar


e dancing, crawling, rolling, stretching and letting their limbs loose around us. It is strange, but there is a sort of welcoming energy in the air that makes us walk in further.


At first, we keep looking to each other as if to say, “where on earth are were, and why did we agree to this?” Nether the less, we try to get into the ‘eb and flow’ by mimicking some of the less expressive people around us. It is awkward and almost amusing until we finally accept that no one around us cares about what they, or we, look like.

The cacao ceremony starts halfway through. People let out sounds and deep breathes while ours are tightly tucked into our chests trying not to draw attention in the almost now silent room. We join in on the affirmation process, but nothing speaks to me as Dillon explained previously. I drink the first sip and cringe slightly at its unmentioned bitterness. They start to hand out cut up bananas and I don’t hesitate to take a few pieces.


The after effect of the cacao was slightly underwhelming, as I felt I had been somewhat tricked into thinking I would be floating on a surge of confidence that would have me too rolling around on the floor in a frenzy. I look to my friend, who seems to be enjoying the music. This, I figure out, is more so because it is Portuguese and being from Lisbon, she knew the song well.


By this time some people were topless, climbing the pillars in the middle of the room and dancing provocatively with each other. I smile to myself and think of the differences between this event and going out to a popular nightclub. The differences were certainly outweighed by the similarities.


Throughout the whole experience, I remember getting to a point where I felt sleepy and in a dream like state. I put this down to the bright lights and three hours of expressive dance, which was finished off with a group meditation.


Despite not reaching the ecstatic state that is promised on the flyer, I would consider going back to try again.



Breathing your way to happiness

There is no doubt that those who are a part of the drink and drug community have a dose of curiosity running through their veins. So, could it be that an introduction of mindful practices, such as ecstatic dance, can help those who may be struggling with the control and overuse of dangerous substances?


Speaking to Tom Middleton, Co-Chair of AFEM heath group and sleep coach, he tells me about the most important aspect to take into consideration if someone really wanted to achieve this natural ecstasy through ecstatic dance.


“What’s interesting about ecstatic dance is that we have been doing it for thousands of years. Coming together as a group, dancing, singing, to get us into these states of natural highs and sometimes utilising herbs and plant medicines to enhance it.”


“For me the best natural high you can get is from breath work. Learn to breathe because obviously when you’re dancing, you’re breathing. If you can utilise these techniques to modulate your breathe, you can then modulate your mood and your mind and your energy. So, to change your mind set in an effective way, this is the best way to do it. Then you won’t need to resort to alcohol and drugs.”


Adi Jaffe, Ph.D. says in an article from Psychologytoday.com, a US psychology website, “mindfulness teaches that instead of trying to avoid your experience, which has been associated with a host of mental and emotional disorders, you adopt an inquisitive and observing attitude toward your thoughts, feelings, and circumstances. In other words, instead of getting angry over being angry, you simply notice your feeling of anger and investigate its many facets.”


It makes a lot of sense to me to hear this. I look over to Dillon, who throughout the whole interview, has been taking long, deep breathes as well as controlled short ones.

“I don’t really see the two communities as the same. Drink and drug culture is more about getting outside yourself rather than in yourself.”



Dillon’s elbows slam onto the table, fingers touching, and a serious face is painted and looking back at me.


“The challenge is to break the stigma. So much mental health is pushed a side and when its due to things like drink and drugs that’s just another reason for people to think that you’re overreacting. It’s about changing mindset. The reason people are curious in the first place is because they want to have fun, feel alive and create a possibility to see who they can become.”


The passion pours out of Dillon as he takes a breath and shakes his head.

“My world is psychedelic; I feel like my own sim. I feel everything and anything from love to gratitude. Everything just looks too good to be true. It’s the pureness of elements that makes us, us, as long as there is balance.”


With practice and belief, there could be changes in the way people maintain ‘in-the-moment’ feelings both in, and out of the dance room and let’s not forget, the law. By becoming more mindful, we can let natural ecstasy’s take us on a journey to better health, lifestyles and connections with others. The mind is a powerful thing, so let’s be mindful of the way we look after it.


*Names may have been changed for anonymity

*Images sourced from Tumblr.com, Dillon Maloney


Print Layouts created by Drew-Alexandra O'Keeffe





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